As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
