we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize