you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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