I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we're making bets on your personal life
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
