69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
