Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
