i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
