I'm really into asian looking animals
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am spending my child support on dildos
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
