i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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