Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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