We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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