Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
