Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
