Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
