I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
