I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
