I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
