so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
