the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
