My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
