I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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