Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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