At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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