OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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