So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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