im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize