I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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