dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
