so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
