can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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