I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
