just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
the raccoons are back...
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