Me too!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
