Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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