Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
