I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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