Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
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Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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