Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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