never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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