is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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