we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
