i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
