yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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