so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
