I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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