A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
