Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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