I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
