Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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