Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
