Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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