i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
