Can Purell be used as lube?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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