So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
