True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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