Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
