nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
