No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
