apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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