Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
