Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
