There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Vodka?
Forever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
